Suggested Readings

Suggested Readings

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Meaning from Madness by Richard Skerritt
"This was probably one of the most helpful books that I have read.  Before reading this I did not look at myself as a victim of abuse.  It made me realize that there are various type of abuse, and, yes I was a victim.  It also gave me great insight into the various personality disorders and an understanding of just why people with personality disorders do not function or think logically as others do."

Tears and Healing by Richard Skerritt 
" Not nearly as helpful as his book Meaning from Madness, but did give me some insight as to why we stay in relationships that are not healthy for us.  It deals primarily with the author's own experiences about living with someone who has borderline personality disorder."
Rebuilding, When Your Relationship Ends by Dr. Bruce Fisher and Dr. Robert Alverti
"I read this book several months ago, but have recently read it again.  I got a completely different understanding of  this book at this stage in my divorce process.  The content deals with the various stages in the divorce process and feelings during this process.  I found it much more helpful the second time I read it.  I was able to relate to the stages - anger, loneliness, rejection, etc. more the second time I read it and was farther along in my therapy."
Getting Divorced Without Ruining Your Life by Sam Marguilies, PhD.
" This book was aimed at settling your divorce through mediation; which in my situation I knew wasn't going to happen.  It dealt with the basic financial aspects of getting a divorce - preparing a budget, cutting your expenses, selling your home, etc - none of which really applied to me.  It also gave some very basic information on divorce law and how to select an attorney.  This was a very basic book, which someone without much "financial savvy" would probably find helpful.  It would also be helpful if the couple was parting in a civilized manner and could negotiate a settlement..  In summary, I did not find that this book was very helpful in my situation."
Surviving Serparation and Divorce by Loriann Hoff Overlin, M.S.  
" Good practical advice on how to deal with emotions involved with divorce, as well as the aftermath - dealing with attorneys and the court system (under normal circumstances), money management, and rebuilding your self esteem."
After the Affair by Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD. 
" I read this book initially when I found out about the affair and used it as a rebuilding block to try to save our marriage.  It is based on both people being willing to rebuild trust and intimacy, which we know in my situation didn't work.  After I read this into the divorce process, I got a totally different meaning.  I could not rebuild the relationship by myself and trust was never going to be restored when there were other problems other than the infidelity."
Exorcising Your Ex by Elizabeth Kuster
" This is not the typical self help book.  It is extremely humorous and does give some good tips.  Like - "When you sit in the dark with a butcher knife, saying to yourself that I know he'll come back", you should run, not walk, to the nearest therapist.  Good for a laugh, which anyone going through a divorce can really use."
Chicken Soup for the Soul, Divorce and Recovery by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Patty Hansen
" Good selection of short stories that are easy to read and reminds you that you are not alone, someone somewhere has experienced the same feelings."
Living, Loving and Learning by Leo Buscaglia, PhD. 
" This is actually a book I had to read for a psychology class many years ago.  Dr. Buscaglia had lectured at a class I was taking at NIU in, we'll not go there.  I dug it out of the archives and am reading it again.  The basics are that life is constantly changing and we need to learn and adapt to those changes to make our life more fulfilling.  It emphasizes how important caring for others, hugs and being able to trust others really is."

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